Christmas Vision , Breath of Heaven

For about the last year I have been trying to meditate about an half hour a day . It helps to clear the mind and , more recently , I have begun to have waking visions . They come when I am in a most relaxed state of mind . Before you say I have become some wacked out New Age fruity , allow me to say I am not sure exactly if , when in this state , one becomes in touch with their subconscious memories or actually becomes accepting of wisdom from those who have come before us . Nevertheless , I do have a recurring vision which I would like to relate involving my family members who have passed on . After allowing myself to enter the relaxed state I find myself as an adult sitting in my skiff with my mother anchored off the bird islands in Roberts Bay . We talk as we always did , me asking questions , she answering and explaining the cycle of life using the birds as examples . Then , as I look at her she says " Mike , follow your heart " . I close my eyes and open them and she is gone . I pull anchor and manuever my skiff back to our dock like I had done hundreds of times . Going through my docking procedure just as my Dad had showed me , I look up and there is my older brother fashioning dock bumpers with Navy knots he had learned while in the service . I never really knew my brother as he was about 15 years older than I . He joined the Navy when I was four and , after discharge stayed with us briefly following our move to Sarasota . He left town when I was seven and I never saw him again . He committed suicide in 1974 . I tie the skiff up , look up at him sitting on the dock and he speaks to me , Mike , life is much like these knots , it weaves in and out and seems very complicated but it is not as hard to follow as it seems ". The knots were woven in and out in true Gordian fashion but he was right , I could follow the strands to their end . I close my eyes and he is gone . I scramble up onto the dock much like I always did as a ten year old using his woven bumpers to boost myself up . Heading up to the house , I see my Dad standing at the BBQ cooking steak just like he did so many times . He is dressed in shorts and has a golf hat on . I walk up to him , give him a hug and we talk like many times before , Turning the steaks he looks at me and says , " Mike , do what is right in every instance ". I close my eyes , then open them and he is gone . Next , I walk to the backdoor open the screen door and head to the kitchen . Standing there near the stove is Reather our maid . Now , to call Reather a maid does not come close to explaining her relationship to the family nor does it do her justice . She was a member of the family , my surrogate mother , and a wise counselor to a boy who had so many questions . I sat at what we called the bar on a rataan stool . I can hear the rataan squeak as I sit . We talk , again like so many times before , then I stare into her eyes and she says , " Michael , stand up for what you believe and let no one take it away " . I close my eyes and when I open them she is gone . I walk through the house passing my room . Pausing , I look in . It is like I left it when I went out in the boat as a ten year old . I walk up to my sister's room . My sister Susan is standing there smiling . Susan died of cancer in 2001 . We talk much like before . She holds her hand up to pause our conversation , then speaks , " Mike , always do what makes you happiest ". I close my eyes once more and as I open them she is gone . I turn and walk back through the house and stand before our Christmas tree on our porch . I take a deep breath and I am back . I think , were they there or was I there ? I believe so . I think they are not gone they are always with me . We get so busy with what we call life and we lose touch with what has guided us . We just have to find a way to get back to where we learned how to live . I hope and pray this Christmas you may glean wisdom from my Christmas vision told by my mother , father , brother , Reather , and sister Susan . Follow your heart , do what is right in every instance , stand up for what you believe , don't make life so complicated , it's knotty enough , and finally , do what makes you happy . Merry Christmas and may God bless you and may you receive a breath of heaven !